For the past four weeks of self-isolating during COVID-19, I've been participating in a daily Business Survival Masterclass. While its focus is on helping business owners survive the economic downturn of the pandemic, I found that many of those topics and survival mechanisms that can help reduce anxiety, in fact relate to ANYONE. So I want to share them, especially with my friends and family, who have expressed stress, worry and at times even panic since this virus hit the world.
Hosted by my business coach, Colin Sprake of Make Your Mark Success, these classes have had the most venerable guest speakers sharing useful nuggets from their decades of experience, from Jack Canfield (co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of 250+ titles, motivational speaker and corporate trainer), to Debra Poneman (author and coach of Yes To Success, who also coached Deepak Chopra) to motivational speaker Les Brown and many more. In addition to valuable business tips, I gained a better understanding of how our mindset affects how we, individually, respond in a time of uncertainty that can cause anxiety and fear – if we let it!
I hope these experts’ tips will help anyone, who isn't doing well mentally or emotionally because of COVID-19. Below is a condensed version of the best bits and pieces I noted and how I understood and interpreted what I heard. (NOTE: I acknowledge and can personally relate that anxiety-disorder has more deep-seated causes that pose a longer-term and greater challenge, and that it will take more than mind-over-matter, although it plays a significant role in recovery.)
NEUROSCIENCE / NEUROPSYCHOLOGY
When we experience real or perceived danger, we have a choice over how we respond. It will take some training though, because as a counsellor once said to me, “Our brains can be bullies”.
I particularly liked this explanation by John Assaraf, founder of Neurogym and a program called Innercise, who said that the two sides of our brain respond very differently when faced with danger. The Einstein part of the brain is logical and in control, versus the Frankenstein part of the brain that is highly reactive in more basic terms. The Frankenstein brain wants to kick in as soon as we see or perceive danger and wants to react either with fight, flight or freeze. This leads to potentially destructive behaviour and stress, as our body pumps adrenaline into our system that increases our heart rate to prepare us for action. When there is no wild animal or enemy to fight off though, this physical response is uncomfortable and even unhealthy over the long-term.
Assaraf says, the best way to gain mental and emotional control is to breathe, slowly and deeply, and train your brain on the positive. You need to turn on the part of the brain (Einstein brain) that you want to have in charge, and when one side of the brain is engaged, the other one is quieted down.
Dr. Maria Nemeth, a psychologist and master coach, further explains that our brains’ tendency to focus on danger is called the Negativity Bias. Scientific research shows that we can retrain our amygdala, the part of the brain that plays a central role in anxiety responses. To do that, you need to become the ‘alpha’ and convince your brain that YOU are the master of your thoughts and responses, and you decide what to focus on (i.e. not focus on the fight, flight or freeze response).
To be the master of your brain, not its servant, she recommends and teaches The Gratitude Protocol. In a nutshell, it means that for 7 seconds you focus on one thing that makes you anxious, then for 17 seconds focus on something you feel gratitude for and that makes you smile. Repeat these three times and then do it three times daily – morning, afternoon and night. This helps reset or train your brain that YOU are in charge. Details HERE.
MINDSET
Another way to choose which part of the brain and which thoughts we allow to take control is our mindset. Olympic athletes are a good example of how a positive and winning mindset, as well as the ability for extreme focus and visualisation, sets them apart from otherwise equally talented athletes. Positive thinking isn’t just a ‘fluffy’ way of explaining our body’s responses; science shows that our brain releases energy and endorphins (the happy-hormone) that keeps us in a good place mentally and physiologically.
Michael Losier, an expert in neurolinguistic programming (NLP), teaches The Law of Attraction (which doesn’t refer to a romantic situation… although it could, since he talks about positive vibes). Neurolinguistic programming is a technique that uses psychological and behavioral modification. The law of attraction, he says, refers to our vibe, mood or feeling. How we feel about and respond to something starts with words that we think, say or write. When we complain or think negatively about something, our mood and feelings and the general vibe we give off will also become negative.
As Losier says, words lead to thoughts that lead to vibes and action. Therefore, when we decide on a more positive outlook, we will, as a result, also improve our mood. Whichever energy or vibe you focus on the most, you will get more of, i.e. focusing on negativity or anxiety breeds more negativity/anxiety. While it is normal and alright to get angry, upset or negative sometimes, his practise is to ensure it lasts only a very short time; ideally just a few minutes.
Wise words from motivational speaker, Les Brown, rounded out all of above learning. He said that, “If you don’t program your brain, it will program you”, and that no matter what happens, “We can’t control the thoughts that enter our minds but we can control how we respond.”
A beautiful way to respond more positively is to practice gratitude that, hopefully, puts a few things in perspective. I love this wonderfully narrated YouTube video, “A Grateful Day”, by Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, as a good way to start.
I hope you can find more calm and a more positive mindset for the remainder of your self-isolation during this pandemic, and beyond, and maybe also help an anxious spouse be less reactive. That may well include stopping binge-watching all the bad news about COVID-19. As one of the guest experts said, “Instead of being afraid, be alert.”